Marisa Fink Blogs

Welcome to my writing, drawing, parenting, and personal life blog- also known as “How I recovered from a toxic marriage”

2020 has begun

2020 has begun but my transformation into who I am now, who I will be and who I once was began early in 2019. I had an epiphany as everything I desperately tried to solidify crumbled. I had already stepped down from a 6 figure position with commiserate responsibilities. It doesn’t matter that I was told to step down; I wanted to and needed to. I was working 60-80 hours a week, an excellent way to avoid dealing with the catastrophe of my marriage. I still made a tremendous effort for everything related to my children, but my parenting was also disastrous. As my world collapsed, I started journaling to try to decipher what was happening. I started in the middle of my marriage, and wrote feverishly. I started at the beginning of my marriage and wrote through tears. I started at the end of my marriage and wrote backwards. I tried to see what I had done wrong, what I had done to make him turn on me. I finally realized that he was a narcissist and my children and I were victims of traumatic bonding. I certainly had my own toxic traits, but recognizing them helped to control them. I started drawing again- just sketches with whatever pen or crayon was handy, mostly costume ideas for my daughter’s budding figure skating hobby. My soul was reawakening, but I didn’t realize it then.

Everything that I was before I married, every hobby I had shut down as frivolous – drawing, writing, sewing, jewelry making came gushing out of me. The dam had broken, and ideas swirled in eddies in my mind. Inspiration flowed so quickly that I could barely begin one project before another idea burst into my mind.

So here I am, working on three novels, painting two pictures, writing short stories, developing my makeup artistry skills, and feeling present in my children’s lives. I left my travel retail career to return to cosmetics management. I work a very normal 40 hours, leaving time to shuttle my kids to events, spend time in creative pursuits, read books (what a luxury!) and have a life. I ditched the husband of nearly 20 years and found myself.

My intent in this blog is to showcase my fiction and non-fiction writing as I develop as an author, and to document the process of creativity. I will write what I know and who I am, so the topics will be diverse.

Welcome to my world. I hope you enjoy your visit.

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